I Love You, Pond
by haveyouseenmyhaggis
Summary: When the Doctor and Rory argue, the Doctor ends up getting hurt in more ways than one. Very sad. 11/Amy, Amy/Rory. A little bit heartbreaking.


**Title: I Love You, Pond**

**Summary: When the Doctor and Rory argue, the Doctor ends up getting hurt in more ways than one. Very sad. 11/Amy, Amy/Rory. **

**Author: Written with the help of Maple, whom is totally awesome and roleplayed this with me. We cried while we did so and then I sniffled my way through making it presentable. It's really quite sad, I think. I hope you enjoy it though.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own _Doctor Who._**

* * *

Amy's accident kept replaying itself over and over again inside the Doctor's head as he walked along the corridor of the TARDIS, towards the medical bay where he'd left his two companions. Amy was still unconscious and he wished only for her to wake up. He had thought he had lost she'd lost consciousness earlier on after ending up in a fight with a Valurian guard on Delta-Nine. She'd be fine though. He knew that. It still upset him though.

He took a deep breath as he reached the door of the medical bay but just as he made to turn into the room, he hesitated when he heard Rory's voice. "Sometimes I wonder if we're safe here, Amy."

The Time Lord frowned and peered around the door. Rory was kneeling on the floor beside the fiery haired woman's bed. She still seemed to be unconscious but her husband was definitely still talking. Biting his lip, the Doctor stopped to listen without disturbing him.

"Sometimes I wonder…" Rory said with difficulty, rubbing his thumb in slow circles over the back of Amy's hand, "Sometimes I wonder what we're doing, risking our lives here? Every day we see some new monster that tries to kill you. And I wonder how long it will be until one of us…" He paused and swallowed loudly, hanging his head for a moment. "I know you love him, Amy… I understand that, but it's dangerous for us! Its dangerous for you…"

The Doctor's hearts skipped a beat and sank in the same instant and he suddenly felt wobbly. He didn't comment because he could tell Rory wasn't finished talking. He didn't want to listen but he couldn't possibly walk away either. He had no choice but to listen.

"I don't want to lose you. Ever. I don't know what I'd do if it that happened. I'd be torn between blaming myself and blaming…" Rory's voice tailed off for a moment and the Doctor, over the sound of his blood pounding in his ears, heard him take a deep breath to steady himself. "Amy, I don't think we should be here. It was safe at home. Really. Nothing would try to kill you there."

He had to speak now. He had to say something. The Doctor took a tentative step forwards into the room and said quietly, "I didn't know you felt that way, Rory." His voice was almost emotionless save for the sad waver in his speech.

Rory didn't turn to face the other man standing behind him as he answered this. "I just want her to be safe again."

Those words tore at the Doctor's mind like angry animals. He looked helplessly at Amy as though willing her to wake up and defend herself in this, but she didn't move. For a moment the Doctor didn't know what to say. He simply stared at the back of Rory's head, trying to think of something that would diffuse the whole situation... "I… I promised I'd look after her. Both of you." It was Rory's turn to remain silent so the Doctor carried on talking if only to fill in the awkward silence that threatened to fall. "She's going to be okay, Rory."

At this, Rory turned around to face him, an odd dark expression etched on his young face. "But how many times will this happen? Yeah, she's going to be okay this time. But how long will it be until she's not okay? How long will it be until she gets herself killed for you?"

The bitterness in the other man's voice shocked the Doctor. Taking a deep breath a few moments later, he said, "Rory, the last thing I want is for Amy to get hurt. I won't let that happen." And he meant it – every single word. He knew he couldn't bare it if he lost Amy… He thought his world might end if he lost someone else...

Rory glared at him, refusing to see his point. "And what if you're not _there_?" he challenged.

Just then, a small voice piped up from the bed behind Rory, "You two aren't arguing over me, are you?" Amy Pond laughed drowsily as she slowly regained consciousness. Rory's gaze lingered on the Doctor for a moment before he turned and looked back at his wife, kissing her lightly on the back of the hand.

The Doctor, however, didn't hang around. He turned and walked straight out of the room, afraid that he would say something he might regret. As he left, he felt Amy's worried eyes on him but he didn't want to stop and explain. He didn't want to talk anymore. Once he reached the console room he stood in front of the screen and looked mournfully at the TARDIS, resting a hand on one of the levers nearest him, almost as though he was seeking comfort. "Why does it have to happen this way, eh?" he whispered softly hanging his head slightly and feeling the pressure of tears building behind his eyes. Shutting his eyes for a moment he tried to convince himself he didn't have to do what he was about to do, but he couldn't. It was the only way to keep Amy safe… It was just as the old Earth adage said: "If you love something, let it go." He had to do this for Amy and Rory – he couldn't think about himself, no matter how selfish he wanted to be about this.

Sadly, he opened his eyes and typed in a set of co-ordinates into the TARDIS and reluctantly typed in the co-ordinates he knew he needed. He stood quietly by the console as he heard Amy enter the room behind him, taking a seat not far from him, pulling her knees up to her chest and hugging them, watching him curiously. "Doctor?"

"I'm sorry, Amy," he whispered but before he could continue, Rory joined them, looking awkward and unhappy. He took a seat beside Amy and protectively wrapped an arm around her. No sooner had he sat down, the TARDIS ground to a halt and the Doctor looked at the pair in front of him looking somewhat lost. "You've got what you wanted, Rory. I hope this makes you happy," he said simply before turning and walking out of the room again, not wanting to face their questions.

This plan didn't really do much good. Amy followed him within seconds, joining him on the floor, leaning against the wall. The Time Lord looked at his companion, his hearts heavy with sadness. "Rory's worried about you."

"Rory's always worried about me," Amy replied instantly, a small smile playing on her lips, almost encouraging the Doctor to smile back at her.

"He wants you to go home," he said softly, forcing himself to keep his eyes on Amy. Only a coward would look away. "And... And what if he's right, Amy?" The sudden pain in her eyes nearly killed him there and then. He took a sharp breath and felt every particle in his body ache to take back what he'd just said.

"It's dangerous here, I'll admit that," Amy said slowly and reasonably., reaching for his hand and holding it tightly in hers, "But I know, and so do you, that you'll keep Rory and I safe, no matter what." Something in her eyes told the Doctor she meant that. She trusted him but that just hurt more.

"But what if I can't keep you safe all the time?" he said, getting up abruptly and letting go of her hand, "Amy…" He could feel his resolve wavering with every passing second but he knew he couldn't let that happen. He had to do this. It was for the best. For the _best._ Holding this thought in his mind he looked at Amy and said, "I'm going out for a bit. And… And when I get back… I… I think you should be gone."

"Doctor-."

In a second, the Doctor's entire demeanor changed. He seemed almost detached from himself, as though he wasn't aware of what he was doing. "Bye, Amy…" he said, his eyes suddenly cold as though he had suddenly given up on all emotion. He just looked tired. With one last dejected look, he turned and walked back through the console room, ignoring Rory on the way out despite him calling his name. He opened the door with a shaky hand and walked outside, suddenly hit by a wall of rain in the dark of night. He didn't really feel it though. He felt totally numb.

He cast around, recognizing Amy's little village. The rain battered into him, flattening his hair against his face and soaking him through in seconds. Not wanting to go back inside he made his way towards a forest a hundred meters or so to his right. He felt totally shocked. Amy's face when he'd left her…? He tried not to think about it for fear he would cry. He had to let her go. She would be much safer without him, right? For something that was meant to be the _right _thing to do, if felt so damn wrong.

When he entered the dark forest, he realised the trees weren't offering him much shelter. He was alone in the cold. He felt a lump forming in his throat and his eyes were burning with held back tears. He ran a hand through his sopping hair in complete despair. "What have I done?" he sighed miserably. He carried on walking, not really caring how muddy he got. He was alone anyway. He'd thought everything was going well - or at least he'd told himself it was. How could he have been so wrong?

Just then, he heard a group of voices from somewhere behind him and he quickly ducked into the trees, not wanting to be seen by anyone. He struggled over tree branch after tree branch, able to see a small clearing ahead of him. He trudged onwards for a good ten minutes, feeling more and more dejected by the second.

He was jerked out of his self-pity when, suddenly, he felt the ground disappear beneath his feet and he was falling. Alarmed, he made a grab for anything he could reach and found himself hanging from a sheer rock face. He looked down and saw there were several meters below him into dark rocky depths and his hearts began beating against his chest like an out of time drummer.

Desperate, he knew he needed help. He couldn't move or he'd slip. He was just left hanging. It was time to swallow his pride - not that he felt he had any at that particular moment. "HELP ME! PLEASE! AMY!" he yelled helplessly, "AMY! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! AMY! HELP! PLEASE!" He wasn't usually one to beg for help but at this point, he had no other choice. It was shout, or fall. He preferred the former but he quickly discovered he didn't really have much choice. The mud was wet and too difficult to keep a hold on. His hands slipped torturously slow but suddenly he couldn't hold on any longer.

A sudden impact to the back of his head told him he'd failed. He lay in the mud, his head spinning with sharp pains running up and down his body, genuinely afraid. He raised a hand lethargically and felt the aching spot on the side of his head and felt a worrying stickiness meet his fingers. He groaned as he realised slowly what this meant. Already, his mind was becoming foggy. Tears slid down his cheeks. How long would he have to wait before he was found? Would he be found in the morning or would he die here, alone? He didn't want to be alone. Terror pressed against him and he whined helplessly, trying to sit up but only succeeding in rolling over on to his side.

He'd only been in this body five minutes. He wasn't ready to regenerate again... Not now. Not like this. He couldn't even help himself. Every part of his body ached and he couldn't move. "I'm sorry, Amy…" he whispered as everything went black.

* * *

After that, he had no perception of time. He couldn't see anything, but he could feel a strange warm feeling in his head, when the rest of his body was freezing. He was dimly aware of someone talking to him at some point but the voice was confused in his mind and he could only just make out the words the person was saying. "What…done? Doctor… My fault…" None of it connected in his head. He didn't care. He didn't have energy to care. He was still alive though. That was nice, he thought groggily. It was more than he'd expected.

As he became more and more aware of his body, he noticed the pain more, and the ache in his chest was back - like something was missing. He became aware of something covering his mouth and it suddenly becoming easier to breathe. There's a sharp pain in his arm and everything became warm and fuzzy, easy. The pain disappeared again. "...Should help the pain." he heard a man say. "I don't know much about Time Lords. He had quite a fall though. Why he didn't notice the "No Access" sign..."

"HE BETTER BE OKAY! WHY, RORY? WHY DID YOU TELL HIM SUCH A THING?"

The yell startled him, bringing him harshly back to reality, he struggled to wake up as he the woman carried on yelling. "I KNOW IT'S DANGEROUS! I KNOW! BUT HE KEEPS US SAFE! HE ALWAYS DOES AND HE ALWAYS WILL!"

He blinked a few times and then opened his eyes tentatively, the worried face of Amy on his right and Rory on his left. He was definitely in the TARDIS again. He was lying on the large bed in the medical bay. How he'd got there, he didn't know, but he was there. The brightness of the room hurt his eyes and he heard himself whine pathetically, giving away that he was awake again.

Amy's attention suddenly turned from yelling at Rory to looking at the Doctor, "Doctor!" she gasped. "Are you alright? How do you feel?" Before he had a chance to answer, she was yelling hysterically at him, "BUT DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN! DID YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW SCARED I WAS? HOW UPSET I'VE BEEN? IT'S BEEN HOURS! I thought…" her yell faded down to a whisper as she took a step back from him, "I thought you were dead…" She sat down on the floor with tears streaming down her face.

"Amy…" was all he could whisper, aching to hold her and comfort her. Physically, he couldn't. His entire body ached when he tried to sit up. He winced and shut his eyes tightly, trying to figure out what hurt most.

"Doctor?" Rory said tentatively, "You're going to be okay, understand?"

The Doctor thought he seemed almost frightened to talk to him. "Mmm," was all he could muster in response. "Rory? C-Can I have a minute…?" He hated how frail and weak his voice sounded but there was very little he could do about it.

"Yeah… I think you deserve that after what I did," Rory nodded compliantly, getting up and walking out of the medical bay with guilt etched on his face. The Doctor watched him go before turning to Amy whom wasn't looking at him. "Amy?" he probed softly with tears streaming down his face. "Amy listen…" He forced himself to sit up, intending to go to Amy, groaning a little at the pain as he pushed through the barrier of pain, his head spinning.

"Hey!" Amy said, looking at him sharply but tearfully. "D-don't!"

"Either you come here… Or I'm coming to you," he said, breathing heavily, with every mouthful of air stabbing at his lungs. Reluctantly, Amy got to her feet and clambered up on to the edge of bed beside him. For a moment they just looked at each other in complete silence. The Doctor watched her quietly as she looked at him, taking in the blood stained shirt and the numerous bandages. Her eyes were wide and he could tell she'd been crying for a long time. He wasn't sure how long he'd been gone but it must have been a while before her eyes were that red.

"Amy…" he began helplessly, trying to move his bandaged wrist to take her hand in his. "I'm…" He rambled on and on, trying to explain how he felt, willing Amy to understand.

"Ssh!" Amy told him, "I don't want to hear you apologies!"

"N-None of this should have happened!" The Doctor shook his head slightly, quickly stopping because it made his mind spin. "It _was _my fault!" he protested, "You shouldn't have been in a position where you could have gotten hurt! Rory's right-."

Amy cut him off there, talking firmly as she might have done to a young child. "Rory is just worried about me. He worries all the time. He's my husband. It's his job to worry about me. But you have to understand he would never leave you or make me leave you. He would never hurt either of us on purpose…" She stood up again, and looked towards the door. "You're tired. I think we should talk about this later. You need to get some rest and-."

"Please don't go, Amy…" the Doctor whispered, almost childishly. He had certainly never behaved this way before but in this moment he was too tired, too hurt, and quite simply too afraid he might lose her to stop. A strangled sob worked its way out of his body and before he knew it, she was holding him tightly in her arms rubbing his back soothingly.

"Hey, who's the girl here?" she joked slightly, trying to coax a laugh out of him as he buried his face in her shoulder. The Doctor didn't answer her this time. Everything seemed to be crashing down around him. He knew he shouldn't be behaving this way. He _knew. _But he couldn't help it. He _couldn't _lose Amy. He just couldn't. What Amy said next was exactly what he needed to hear just then, "I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here."

"I don't want to be alone again," he whispered to her, holding her tightly, not wanting to let her go. He hadn't even wanted to tell anyone that, but he had now. It was too late to take it back. "I'm sorry…" he hiccupped, feeling stupid and childish.

Amy took his face in her hands and made him look at her. "Doctor, you can't be the hero all the time…" She kissed him lightly on the cheek and made him lie down again, lying down beside him on the edge of the bed. "Sometimes it's okay just to be the Raggedy Doctor." She smiled slightly and he smiled back at her, turning his head to face her as she lay on her side next to him, an arm lying over his chest.

"I love you, Pond," he said softly, looking calmly at her for a moment before his eyes closed sleepily...

"I love you too," he heard her whisper before he fell into the depths of sleep completely.

And that was all he needed to know.


End file.
